I’m strong and resilient - do I really need a therapist?

“I struggle with whether or not to see a counselor. Because I’m resilient and I can make it through challenges.”

I wrote this in my journal in July 2021. I had graduated from grad school two months prior, had officially become a licensed therapist, sold our first condo, moved into a new, dream home, and left one job to start another. It was a season of a LOT of change. Nothing felt steady. Nothing felt normal. Everything was swirling around me.

And yet, I still wrote this in my journal. I was even a therapist at the time. A brand-new therapist, yes, but still.

Most of the clients I see come to me with this mindset, in one way or another. Most of my clients are extremely intelligent, hardworking, capable people. Many have thought about therapy for years, have tried it off and on, and are sometimes almost apologetic when they come to me. Almost like they’re worried they’re being a burden to me, or they think I’ll think they haven’t done enough to help themselves.

If you hear nothing else from me, hear this: seeing a counselor does not mean you aren’t resilient or can’t get through challenges on your own. Sometimes that is more or less the reason why people begin therapy, yes. But why stay once the original problem has been “solved”? Why not stop once you start to “feel better”?

Because therapy is about so much more than helping solve problems and get through challenges - it is an amazing opportunity for you to choose yourself. It’s an opportunity for you to have someone unconditionally in your corner, there for you no matter what. It’s a person who will allow you to be you, every single week, who will listen and support and see the best in you and believe in you. It’s a person who will see you and care for you in the ways that you’ve always needed and deserved, who will walk with you through every slow, patient step of the process.

I’ve heard some clients say that doing long-term therapy feels “self-indulgent.” If you were raised to be hyperindependent, rarely ask for help, and be competent in all you do, I totally understand why this feels this way. What I’ve come to observe through my work with long-term clients is that therapy helps you become an absolutely incredible person who goes on to impact their world in amazing ways. When you commit to yourself through therapy, you don’t just help yourself - you help your partner, your children, your friends, your colleagues, and just about anyone you come into contact with. I’ve had long-term clients tell me that their kids have noticed them become happier and more patient. I’ve had clients report improved communication and better connection with their spouses, which then encourages their spouses to seek therapy themselves. I’ve seen clients increase their confidence at work, advocating for their needs and making their workplaces better, not just for themselves, but for their co-workers and the people their work benefits.

Therapy isn’t just about you - it’s about making the world better, one person at a time. Those who take care of themselves, communicate effectively, regulate their emotions, work through conflict, listen well, respect themselves and others - those are the ones making our world better.

How do you want to make your world better? Let’s work together to make it happen.